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  beauty_queen1
 
07:00pm 10/11/2004
  This place is not my home
It’s a blackhole
Full of pain, hatered
This thing they call life is slowly killing me
That place they send me called skool is actually a torture chamber
The people i call friends cause as much pain
this world is black as an endless hole
it’s all a lie this world/life/love
all us human know how to do is cause pain
 
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The Real ME! 
  beauty_queen1
 
10:42pm 06/11/2004
  She gets ready for school
And she thinks what have I become
Her whole wardrobe consists of the latest fashion
Her bathroom full of beauty products
Her vanity full of make-up to change the real her
Her cell phone of thousand of names but no real friends
When she was younger life was easy
You didn’t have to change yourself to have friends
When people accepted you for the way you were
But now you have to put on a disguise
To get the guy or the friend
She might look happy but the truth is she’s crying inside
 
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the black world 
  beauty_queen1
 
10:39pm 06/11/2004
  Soon I’ll be gone
This world I made for myself is falling apart
My happiness is fading
Reality settles in again
And I see the truth
A dark room
A dark life
A dark world
And I don’t want to be here anymore
 
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games 
  beauty_queen1
 
10:39pm 06/11/2004
  Another game of cat and dog
But I don’t want to chase you anymore
You confuse me and intrigue me
To say that I won’t wait for you is a lie
But do we really have to play games
I want to tell you I need you
And want you
And I need to know do you want/need me too
 
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  beauty_queen1
 
10:38pm 06/11/2004
  I sit here in the tub and cry
I cry about you
I cry for what you’ve done
I cry for what you are now
I wish I could die
Just not wake up tomorrow
This razor blade so close to my wrist
Slowly I pull it back
Let go of all the pain
The tub starts to turn red
I see a light and there you are
Waiting for me with open arms
We embrace as we slowly float up to heaven
And now I know I’m finally safe again
Right where I belong in your arms
 
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make-up hides the pain 
  beauty_queen1
 
10:37pm 06/11/2004
  She gets up every morning and tries to smile
But all she doe is cry
How can she smile?
With her best friend gone and
The guy she likes won’t give her the time of day
She gets out of bed and gets ready
She uses her make up as a disguises
She covers her pain and
When she’s done she is again that happy girl you all know
But no one knows she slowly dyeing inside
 
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YOU 
  beauty_queen1
 
10:36pm 06/11/2004
  I want to step into the light
To let you know how I feel
But I can’t
So I step back into the dark
I cover my mouth not to utter a word
I smile and pretend everything is okay
I hide my heart so you can’t see my true feelings inside
I wish I could jump into your arms
I still remember the feel of your lips
And the way your body felt pressed against mine
I want to kiss your lips one last time
Yet again I step farther back into the shadows and hide
 
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Goodbye 
  beauty_queen1
 
10:35pm 06/11/2004
  Since you’ve gone
I’ve been dying inside
Slowly my insides burst
And shrivel to nothing
My heart has turned to stone
The darkness engulfs me
My pain/misery circles my every move
I still remember that night to know
I won’t see you again kill me
To know the only way you are here is by phone
I know our friendship can last through this
It will make us stronger
In the End
But still I miss you
Everyday more and more
 
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  beauty_queen1
 
10:34pm 06/11/2004
  She sits in a room and stares at the four walls
She looks over to her cell phone but no one is calling
A tear falls down her face
When did her comfortable room become a prison?
She use to come in here to protect herself
But know she wants to leave
Her old life is falling apart at all ends
She lost the love of her life 1 ½ ago
And
Now she’s losing her best friend
 
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  beauty_queen1
 
10:31pm 06/11/2004
  We neva use to keep secrets
Neva use to lye to each other
Neva use to not care when the other one was crying
But I guess that’s all changed
I use to be able to call you up anytime
Or coming crying to you if I had a problem
But now all I get is an answer machine
So I’ll do the same to you
I won’t be there for you anymore
Go cry on someone else shoulder
I won’t be there if you need me




hey,
i hope everyone enjoys this! if anyone takes me any offense to what i post please tell me! also some of this material is just emotions!
love ya all
KT
 
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